


Blue Christmas

by prettyskylark



Category: Better Call Saul (TV)
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Party, F/M, Mistletoe, Secret Santa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-15 16:38:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16936857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prettyskylark/pseuds/prettyskylark
Summary: That's my headcanon for Kim's signature gold earrings. Also Merry Christmas to you all and thanks for reading!





	Blue Christmas

At 7 pm everybody gathered in the big conference room with a fire burning and cracking in a fireplace. A tastefully decorated Christmas tree stood tall and proud in one corner of the room, its red and gold ornaments color-coordinating with the carpet and two velvet armchairs situated by the window. Kim took her first glass of wine of the evening. She still wasn’t sure whether she has worked hard enough already to feel completely at ease during these kinds of events or if she was still being watched and constantly judged. Either way, she was a professional so she was always on her best behavior.

At 8 pm they exchanged small gifts from the Secret Santa. Kim, cautious but already on her second glass of wine, discretely searched around the room, looking for someone who was evidently late, judging by how quiet the room was. She turned her attention to a neatly-wrapped package she held in her hands. Three weeks ago, Kim had fished out Helen’s name from a plant pot. She had bought her a nice pen and a mint-flavored chocolate bar that Kim knew the woman liked. In return, Kim was given a non-fiction book that she still hasn’t truly looked through, by Ernie. 

At 8:30 pm Howard Hamlin stood in front of the fireplace and delivered a nice speech, along with wishing everyone Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. At the corner of her eye, Kim saw Jimmy making his way through the crowd, making sure he patted every back, shook every hand and complemented every new hairdo, unbothered by the little commotion and distraction from Howard’s words he was causing.

“You’re late.” 

“At least the wine’s not gone yet.”

“If you’re planning on getting shit-faced during a work party then maybe your law career will start and end in the mailroom.”

“Hey, mock me all you want but never underestimate the blessing of free alcohol, especially if paid by a boss as fancy and stuck-up as Howard.” 

Jimmy raised the mug slightly as if to mockingly toast to Howard himself.

“Why are you drinking out of a mug?”

“Because, in the spirit of Christmas, this is mulled wine, heated and spiced personally by yours truly. And, if you play your cards right, I could share some of my goodness with ya.”

“Thanks, but I think I’ll pass.”

“Oh, regular wine’s all-year-round kinda treat, am I right? This is only allowed during the most wonderful time of the year. So, I say, let’s make the most of it since ‘tis the season.”  
  
“Jimmy! So glad I’ve found you! Been looking for you all night!”

A middle-aged woman patted Jimmy on the shoulder with one hand, holding a bag with his present with the other. Kim took that opportunity to leave, not wanting to stand through the surely incoming long list of questions from Jimmy about Karen’s nephews’ saxophone lessons and her husband’s back problems.

* * *

 

Kim was looking out of the window, listening to the hum of conversation and laughs around her, when she felt a hand gently wrapping itself around her arm for a moment to get her attention. 

“Hi there, stranger. Wanna dance?”

Jimmy stood in front of Kim with one of his hands outstretched towards her, waiting for her to take it. His eyes were reflecting the glistening Christmas lights strung all around the room. His tie was loosened a little bit, which normally Kim would automatically adjust to avoid Jimmy’s brother’s disapproving glances, but she let it slide this time. His lips were stained slightly from the red wine he had drunk through the night. The sight made Kim felt like her stomach tied itself into a knot for whatever reason.

“C’mon, don’t make me beg and don’t think I wouldn’t dare to do this here. Besides, we won’t be the only ones cherishing the cozy atmosphere.”

Kim looked around and noticed that, in fact, some of the co-workers were swaying to the music, dancing and talking with a bubbly laziness of slightly tipsy people. Kim and Jimmy would blend right in.

She took his hand and noticed that his lips twisted in a surprised smile, like despite everything he hadn’t quite believed she would accept the invitation. He led her a little bit further from the rest of the dancing couples and closer to the Christmas tree. He took one of her hands in his and placed his other one near the small of her back. She didn’t know whether she felt warm from the alcohol, the fireplace or leaning against Jimmy’s chest. She could smell his cologne, and cloves and oranges on his breath from the mulled wine.

“ _You’ll be dooooing alriiiight with your Christmaaas of whiiite—_ ” he sang against her hair, low, hoarse and so terribly off-key Kim snickered against Jimmy’s chest.

“I have something for you, by the way.”

“I hope it’s not your singing, otherwise I’d have to ask for a refund.”

“You hurt my feelings, Kim. I’m an excellent singer, thank you very much.”

Jimmy stepped back and took a small box out of the inside pocket of his jacket. Kim’s pulse comically sped up before she told herself to calm down. He placed the box in her palm and their fingers brushed against each other for one second too long.

Inside she found a pair of golden earrings, shaped like pointy arrowheads.

“To, um, add a little something to your professional and serious lawyerly look.”

“But Jimmy— You were not my Secret Santa.”

“Yeah, I know. I just wanted to, um, to do something nice for ya. You’ve been working your ass off these couple of weeks, to be the best and all. I guess you deserve to look the best, as well. Um, not that you don’t already, because Kim, you look great, it’s just that—"

She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. Her throat felt tight and she fought back tears that were threatening to fall from her eyes and ruin her mascara. She almost felt stupid for feeling so moved. Except she has never met anyone quite like Jimmy in her line of work, someone so kind-hearted and seemingly simple, who takes the time to learn the name of your aunt’s dog and is still able to memorize all those soulless laws.

And yes, she knew Jimmy’s actions weren’t entirely selfless. She was aware of his possible romantic interest and if she was being honest with herself, the feelings weren’t one-sided. They had shared one little kiss in the past, a small event that she had blamed on a weird sense of longing she thought had been caused by her tiresome and endless pile of law schoolwork that Jimmy had been helping her get through (providing moral support more than any form of help). But back then it had seemed like a spur of the moment one-time thing, filed somewhere at the back of the mind. Somehow always present, nagging, whispering to her every time their hands brushed while passing mail or she laughed at yet another lame joke Jimmy humored her with. But the way she’s always been wooed by her previous suitors was an invitation to dinner to the fanciest restaurant they could afford, meaningless comments exchanged over wine that mostly circled around the law and business, taking clothes off and enjoying naked bodies but not before tenderly laying the suits out flat on the floor so that they wouldn’t wrinkle. If the men she had known were renaissance paintings focused on realism and detail, Jimmy was a baroque painting focused on color. 

“I— Thank you, Jimmy. Really. I love them.”

And then, without giving it too much thought, she leaned in and placed a small kiss on his cheek, a little closer to the corner of his mouth than she would normally have with anyone else. The worst part was, she wished it was way closer than this. Before he could say anything else or, God forbid, do anything else that Kim was not ready to do in front of the entire office right now, she stepped back and turned on her heel.

“I’m gonna get some air. Be right back.”

Kim almost ran down the stairs, pressing the little box, with earrings inside, to her chest. She leaned hard against the door and pushed it open, walking into the chilly winter air of the parking lot. In her hurry to get away from the warmth of the room and Jimmy’s gaze, she didn’t think of taking any jacket with her. Great, now she’ll catch pneumonia and will have to take a couple of weeks of sick-leave which will probably get her fired. If it wasn’t for the alcohol warming her up, she’d shivering by now.

Kim took out a cigarette and lit it with fingers already reddened from the cold. She took in the comfort of the heavy smoke filling her lungs, not focusing on the many thoughts filling her mind at the moment.

She was halfway through her cigarette when she heard footsteps echoing around the otherwise empty parking lot. A moment later Jimmy leaned against the wall, taking his usual spot. They would find themselves in this exact position very often, every other day during lunch breaks and before heading home. They rarely talked when they were like this, sharing a cigarette and occasional smiles in silence instead.

Kim passed him the cigarette with slightly trembling fingers without saying a word. Jimmy took it, put it between his lips, took off his jacket and put it around Kim’s shoulders before she could even protest. Not that she wouldn’t, not now. She welcomed the warmth and his smell with a quirk to her lips.

“So, um, I found this on the floor on my way here. I’ve never been good with, um, plants and all that. Any idea what that might be?”

Jimmy retrieved something from behind his back and dangled a little green branch in front of Kim’s face. She fought with every cell in her body not to smile. _That sneaky asshole_.

“Looks like a mistletoe to me.”

“Mistletoe, huh?”

“Where did you find it?”

“Oh, you know, just laying around. I guess it must’ve fallen off one of the traps set in the office above, y’know, doors.”

Kim hasn’t seen a single branch of mistletoe hanging anywhere in the entire HHM office.

“Traps?”

“It’s a mistletoe, ain’t it? Whoever stands beneath it should kiss, at least that’s what I’ve heard.”

“Let’s hope you won’t get trapped with Howard anywhere near it, then.”

“Now that’s a pleasant picture you’ve just planted into my head. Thanks, Kim.”

She was almost done with her cigarette and she took one of the last drags without taking her eyes off of Jimmy. He lowered the mistletoe and started picking on its leaves a little bit to have something to do with his hands. Kim felt like she already knew him quite well, having spent so much time with him in the past few months, so she was able to see through the nervous smile and slightly furrowed eyebrows. He was joking, always joking, which proved to be an easy way out of situations when needed and that’s what he was doing now. They could brush it off and move on. Forget about the unsaid proposition. Invitation. Possibility.

She threw the butt of the cigarette onto the ground and it flickered for the list time with a spark when she grabbed Jimmy by the collar and pressed her lips to his. It started a little off-center and she had the alcohol to blame for her poor aim. She felt Jimmy stifle with surprise at first before he placed his hands on her waist under his jacket and deepened the kiss. He tasted like cigarettes and cloves. Smokey, a little like gingerbread. She moved in closer, almost pressing him against the wall, and felt him smiling against her lips. His hands were warm, fingers digging lightly into her sides, keeping her from melting. Kim wondered briefly why she had wasted so much time during their time in the mailroom not doing this sooner. She could have had him pinned against the copying machine months ago. 

Kim was the one who finally broke the kiss, taking a little step back and letting go of the collar of his shirt, laying her palms flat on his chest instead. When she looked up, Jimmy was looking at her with so much tenderness, Kim almost looked away. She felt too warm, too heavy in her own body. Like standing under a scalding shower, so hot it burned your skin red but so good you wanted to stay like this just a little longer.

There were so many things she felt like she needed to say, they both needed to say, but they stayed silent. They still had time to define what this was, what this could be. Doing this now felt like spoiling the moment. Kim didn’t know whether she even knew if she wanted them to become a thing. Or if she wanted Jimmy to not want them to be something more. If that made her heart hurt a little at the very thought.

Suddenly somebody pushed the door into the parking lot open and they almost jumped away from each other, shuffling nervously as if they just got caught doing something bad. Chuck looked at them, surprised and a little irritated, an expression he often wore while seeing his brother in his workplace, even after so many months. Unwelcomed, as if he didn’t feel like Jimmy belonged in his HMM empire.

“Oh. Kim. Jimmy.”

Kim nodded politely in his direction, her lips pressed into a thin line. She wanted to pinch herself to calm down. They looked like they had just shared a cigarette. Nothing they haven’t done already many times before. No reason to get suspicious on Chuck’s part. Was that even a bad thing? If Chuck knew she still felt the ghost of Chuck’s little brother’s touch on her lips? Or that she already missed it?

“I’m gonna call it a night. I’ll see you on Monday. Goodnight.”

“’Night, Chuck.” Jimmy waved weakly after his brother but he didn’t seem to pay much attention to them anymore. Chuck never drunk more alcohol than half a glass just to be polite, and after a couple of hours, he was good to drive himself home.

His interruption seemed to burst their warm bubble of whatever this was. Jimmy cleared his throat and gestured towards the entrance to the building.

“Do you, um, want to head back inside?”

“I was actually thinking about going home and putting on a movie.”

“Oh. Yeah. Okay.”

He walked her out to the front of the building. Kim took out her phone and called for a cab. Jimmy stuck around by her side, putting his hands in and out of his pockets, tension creeping visibly into his shoulders. She didn’t take off his jacket and he didn’t ask for it back. When the cab finally pulled over, he opened the door for her and waited, gnawing on her bottom lip. Kim raised an eyebrow, still playing with the velvet box in her hands.

“So? Are you coming? I have more wine at home. We could order some takeaway.”

She almost snickered at the way his eyes suddenly lit up. He huffed out a surprised laugh. Kim saw how he almost walked up to her and kissed her again. How Jimmy’s fingers twitched, wanting to reach out and touch her, even just to grab her hand. He didn’t do any of those things, though. They had time to do all of that later.

**Author's Note:**

> That's my headcanon for Kim's signature gold earrings. Also Merry Christmas to you all and thanks for reading!


End file.
